Jealous
by BeTheIntegrity
Summary: A little fic of Will and Alicia during Georgetown, the story came to me late one night whilst listening to Labrinth - Jealous :)


Hey guys, sorry I've been away i've just been so busy with law school and my year abroad but the other day I was listening to Labrinth - Jealous and had to write down this story. I don't think it's amazing but I had to share it, I may also add another chapter of the first day he sees her again but I'm not entirely sure. I also still can't believe Will is gone like I know it's nearly been like a full season since but I can't accept it.

Please be kind and feel free to review.

Thanks for reading :)

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Returning to Georgetown after summer semester for his final year was meant to feel amazing, seeing Alicia again and only having a year left before the world wind ended and he could really ask her for something serious. He chuckled to himself Will Gardener and serious with a girl was something unbelievable but with her it was different, it always had been. Something in the air that day however just wasn't right, the streets were littered with freshmen moving in, the leaves had began to change colour burnt orange and a mustard yellow lined the streets. The air had began to chill not so much you could feel it on your skin but you could breath it in and feel it crisp in your throat. It was normally their time of year, they could take long walks, star gaze and see their favourite sights without the crippling heat and overbearing tourist crowds but somehow in his heart he knew this Autumn would be different.

It started with messages and phone calls drifting further apart in time from everyday to every week to a fortnight until it became a month, he'd put it down to her being busy but even he had to admit to himself that it was more. The phone calls were rushed, her voice was low and distance, sometimes it'd be silent as minutes past and he'd feel like he'd been talking to a vacant lot like she wasn't there. These thoughts ran through Wills head but he still wanted to hope, believe that she'd just been busy because this cannot be them drifting apart they are Willicia they are meant to be anyone could see it. In that moment Will smiled remembering who they used to be, making his way up the old creaky building stairs to her apartment, he had wanted to surprise her with reservations to a cute farmer restaurant she loved. The type where the food was fresh, the cocktails were inventive and you could loose yourself in the friendly atmosphere. When he arrived at the door she was standing beautifully with the sun caressing her hair through the window and he needed to take a moment just to fully appreciate the beauty of the woman he'd missed, he loved. Then it wasn't just the sun caressing her hair but a hand, a manly hand, it quickly was followed by a dark tall man's lips. There it was proof of the reason she'd been distant, there it was in colour another man touching his Alicia who clearly wasn't his. Have you ever watched something fall in slow motion, you want it to stop but its there right in front of you and it's plain to see, that's how it feels to see her. His heart just stopped, and he could feel it shattered into a million pieces, every ability halted except for the air being ripped out of his lungs and the sound of shattering. He knew they weren't together but he never thought she'd leave him not like this, with no word or warning. Then she giggled and it was so soft but audible and a single tear fell down his cheek he had nothing, nothing left to give. He turned to leave the sight had become too much and then he heard her

"Will?"

He could pretend not to hear walk hell even run, ring her later with some excuse about being late for a date but then he thought no he couldn't she'd see straight through him. He needed to be strong, although Will didn't know how lets face it he'd never had his heart broken not like this. So with a big smile he turned around and replied to her

"Alicia Hi, I was just leaving sorry I saw you had company and thought prep for the moot later this week could wait"

That was the moment he knew he'd let himself go why'd he use the moot as an excuse! she knows him better than to prep for some moot on the first day back and the confusion on her face said it all.

"Ok… I'll call you later ok?"

"Yeah sure."

Months past and it was as though their relationship mimicked the trees slowly the leaves fell one by one until there was nothing left, the tree was bare, stripped, vulnerable with nothing to hold onto. Will had learned her new boyfriend was some guy named Peter on the path for political greatness, he'd tried to warn her about those politician types but she laughed it off saying it's the lawyer types referring to his string of casual flings. They'd talked about what happened and really what could Will say "I love you" it was a shot in the dark and how could he spoil her happiness for something he wasn't sure she wanted. One night though after one too many beers she'd began to cry, apologising for not telling him about Peter and for dating him in the first place and Will knew then was his chance to tell her about the plans he had, the overwhelming feelings he felt but in reality he wasn't that guy, he couldn't do that to her. Instead when she begged him to forgive her he just reassured her that she did nothing wrong there was nothing to forgive and she needed to stop beating herself up for falling in love.

Trying to be friends with someone you love is like being addicted to drugs, you know it's bad for you, you know it upsets and is completely destroying who you are but you can't stop, you need to see how they are, see if that relationship is still as strong while you pray for it not to be. As the new year came came so did the engagement and Will knew that he had to give up, she was gone. Seeing her leave for winter break, winter sun breaking on her face and the way it glistened made him jealous, the way the winter winds rippled through her clothes touching her body, the way the rain touched her skin. It was closer than he could ever be anymore. The more nights they spent apart the pain grew internally, he just wondered where she was who she was with and if deep down she was happy. She seemed it and it crippled him because as she smiled a genuine glossy smile he was fading, a greyness took over him and he was dying inside. It seemed the more she blossom the more he died. He drank every night, slept with numerous girls but nothing brought back the sun, nothing removed the black clouds that hung over him. When it came time to say goodbye she'd found him drinking as usual he was a bit further gone than her and saying goodbye was a bittersweet moment for removing her made it easier to move on but never having her around left him with an unfillable void.

He remembers the last goodbye even now years later. The bar was musky filled with frat boys and girls looking for a bed. The music was rubbish and a little loud but at least here he didn't have to think, he didn't have to be alone in his thoughts because he was never truly alone she was always there and at the end of the night he could pick up some drunk girl go home and fuck away the memories. It was never the place Alicia would come and thats probably another reason it'd become his regular. So to see her perfect face light up the bar, to see her float over and take the seat next to him was a shock, they hadn't spoken in months and he wanted to be angry that it became like that but her perfume assaulted his senses, her face soften the lines on his face and the emotions in his heart. She was the first to speak up.

"Will, I know we haven't spoken much and things have gotten well a little awkward since the engagement but I couldn't leave without saying one last goodbye and well one last apology for the way things have turned out"

Will didn't know if it was the beer, her perfume or the fact this was potentially the last time he'd see the love of his life but he learned over and gently whispered

"I told you leesh, there's nothing to say sorry for, because I wish you the best I really do but I just.."

and he choked because he'd never really told her that, he'd never admitted he wanted her to be happy and that to do that he had to be without him.

"I always thought you'd come back and tell me all you found was heart break and misery, that being without me hurt you as much as it hurt me"

the silence was so loud that the background music faded and they became the only two people in that bar then she did something he hadn't since summer and placed one light kiss on his lips.

"Goodbye Will"

and that was it she'd left, swept out of his life just as quickly as she swept in and stole his heart.

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Thanks for reading, feel free to review and please be kind :)


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